How I Spent the State of the Union Address

(Edited for chronologicality in an attempt to make it readable for non-drunks. I put all the posts into one but left the timestamps so you could maybe get an idea of the real deal when it actually happened. And I scrubbed the other posts.)

state of the union + drinking game + blog =?

it's 8:20, at least 3 standing o's already

isolationism bad

i've already drunk about 1/2 a beer, on my 2nd of the evening
posted by slight @ 8:17 PM

i'm drinking for 'terrorsits' and 'iraqis' even though it just says 'terror' and 'iraqi'
posted by slight @ 8:19 PM

oh my god, i've missed about 15 drinks for 'freedom'
iraqi posted by slight @ 8:20 PM

troops 1 derimk

(not going to edit typos, speed is key)

standing o no drink

iraq 1 drink

fucker's slamming criticism while welcoming it. hypocrite...............

i got your duty to speak with candor

show kerry 1 drink
posted by slight @ 8:21 PM

giving it up for the troops

introducing family of a killed soldier, drink ofr each of htem

drink for the soldier just cuz
posted by slight @ 8:23 PM

pam called, drink form issing something

2 drinks for terror and terrorist

democracy 2 drinks

new beer
posted by slight @ 8:26 PM

2 for democracy

dick doesn't look that good. cheeks are rosy but he's slumping

iran 1 drink

nukular!!!!!!! 2x only 1 drink each. fuck!

talking to the iranians: we respect you and want to be friends of a free and democratic iran. (ok, i;'ve heard of worse things)

now he's talking about us spreading compasssion abroad? dude, he's in a bubble
posted by slight @ 8:27 PM

seguing from we need to show compassion abroad to fighting terrorism at home. awkward. then shout out to cops and firemen. whatup Brad!

1/2 standing o that's a drink cuz he wants the Patriot Act renewed

might be going into wiretapping

yeah

he's lying, yada yada yada

1/2 standing o, drink

terror drionk
posted by slight @ 8:31 PM

freedom x1

bipartisan =2 drinks

freedmo

hillary's standing. what is with the clintosn and bushes hanging so tight?

talking about the economy

there aint' no drinks for any ecdonomy bullshit? fuck this

i'm freestyling it:

taxes = drink

standing o b/c we need immigrants

talking about tax relief passed under him. drink for not being righ rich
posted by slight @ 8:35 PM

new beer

might have been 1/2 standing o dirnk!

he's gonna cut stuff and save us money

earmark reform, drink for ears 2x
standing o by the dems b/c his social security didn't pass awesome!!!!!!!!

(pam totally distracted me for a minute with the lovin')

biparitsan 1 drink 2x

i think he's sorta talking about healthcare cuz baby boomers are about to be old, like retiring posted by slight @ 8:39 PM

4 supreme coutr justices in this hizzouse including scalito

we need secure borders, close enought tequila? i'm dinrking tecate close enough1!!!

showing chertoff, you suck chretorr!

"we have a resposnbility to meet needs for our seniours in healthcare and we're doing it" gets boos, b/c grandma ain't getting her meds on the new medicare

lawsuits mean 1500 counties don't have ob/gyns? can i see the backup please?

we're addicted to oil. no shit sherlock.

and you suck some serious dick there.

taking a drink just cuz. and then he says nukular

change in power of autos?

ethanol!

everybody likes ethanol

except exxon mobil with $34 billiong in profits

enviro dirnk! 2 drinks

we gots to be comepetitvie in education like math and science. go nerds! geeks untie!
posted by slight @ 8:43 PM

we're gonna lead the world in opportunity and innovation

he's thumping no child left behind.

math and science...

i'm not drinking

drink for showing laoura

a new initiative is a drink: the american competitiveness initiative!! it's go time! suck it, rest of the world!

he's talking about abstinence, drink cuz we did it ealrier!
posted by slight @ 8:50 PM

time for new beer

shout out to justice roberts and alito, drink x2, so long roe v. wade for a while

props to sandra o'connor! she's cool!

he couldn't say 'egregious' that's a drink.

2 drinks for talking about the Creator and cloning is bad, m'kay!

talking about ethics in Congressm drink someone else's drink

new initiative is 1 drink
and showing laura, pickles!!!!

does he have hair in his ears?
posted by slight @ 8:53 PM

he's talking about Katrina, drink!
nola, drink!
heckuva job, brownie!

meds for aids, everybody likes it. he smiles 'i'm good'

drink for kerry!

pam's drinking my beer. give it back!

obamaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
posted by slight @ 8:58 PM

yes, i have nothing better to do

oh, it's over. just like that.

51 minutes less than an hour. i've got to finish my drink and have another!

oh boy.

9:05

coold. i slammed about 4 1/2 beers in 40 min. that doesn't sound like theat much but i am drunk.

wtf? barack slapping w. on the back and hugging frist. fuck all that.

now he's signing atuographs, w is.
posted by slight @ 9:01 PM

And if anything confused you, it's W's fault.